What Drives Reluctance?

In meetings, do you find yourself admitting the truth with statements like:

• I like your idea better than mine.

• I don’t really know what to do next. Who can help?

• I’ve been doing this for years, but my approach doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

• I don’t agree with our decision at this point. I’m struggling to support it.

I’ll admit, I don’t find it easy to make these statements. It’s just human nature to want to be right, and we fear if we aren’t we’ll lose respect and approval from others.

Webster’s definition of “admit” provides some comfort for the human side of personal admissions.

To admit means to concede as true or valid.  Another source says that “to admit” is to confess to being true, typically with reluctance.

What drives reluctance? 

The desire to belong, accepted, and valued is among the most powerful forces in human nature.  Admitting our mistakes, shortcomings and failures gets all tangled up with our identity.  In his book, The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni says that sometimes it’s during the process of coming clean about weaknesses that the biggest breakthroughs happen among team members.  Being transparent and vulnerable with our shortcomings creates a healthy environment for growth and exploration and opens the door to greater participation.

So, go ahead, admit your mistakes. 

Accept what’s true.

“Acceptance is the first step to successful action.”